Flirting is not just about romantic pursuits; it is an art that opens the doorways to friendliness, sensuality, connection and fun. Flirting is the ‘lightness’ of communication, the playful and subtle transmission of attraction and connection, whether that is expressed through a fluttering of the eyelids, teasing banter or a warm smile.
When children or animals are well and happy, they naturally flirt! They smile, gaze adoringly, nuzzle, make bids for connections, reach out their arms, boldly express their desires or offer spontaneous acts of kindness.
But why do adults often struggle with flirting? Life’s challenges, such as loss, disappointment, rejection, resentment, or heartbreak, can cause us to retreat from connection. We stop daring to flirt and open up to people. We become very serious and lose the lightness and playfulness of flirting.
Rediscovering the art of flirting is about finding your own inner confidence and learning how to communicate and connect naturally and with ease.
Flirting and sensuality
Being a sensual being is essential to happiness. Connecting with your senses also allows you to open yourself to the experience of pleasure. When you bring your awareness to the world of smell, sight, sound, touch, and hearing, you become attuned to your own bodily sensations and desires. This body wisdom gives you endless choices in the world.
When you are near someone you would like to chat to, allow yourself to relax and soften your belly. Attune to your own body by breathing slowly and noticing the sensations in your body. Breathe and feel into the right moment to speak.
By embracing your sensual self, you can cultivate happiness and radiance that impacts both yourself and those around you. When you are turned on to yourself, you light everyone up around you.
The power of self-love
Flirt with yourself! This means developing a loving and playful relationship with yourself. When you feel vibrant and confident in your own skin, you exude an irresistible charm that captivates others.
Schedule in activities that make you feel good, whether it’s taking a relaxing bath, practicing mindfulness or meditation or trying a new hobby.
Take yourself on solo dates! Plan outings to places you love or places you’ve always wanted to explore. Visit a museum, go for a hike, have a picnic in the park, or treat yourself to a fancy dinner or spa day. These experiences can help you reconnect with yourself and create moments of happiness. Treat yourself with kindness and make self-care a regular part of your routine.
Take the time to acknowledge your strengths, accomplishments and qualities that you love about yourself. Boost your confidence by saying “I’m irresistible” to yourself throughout the day! Positive self-talk can have a transformative effect on your mindset and self-esteem.
Send the signals
It’s not the most attractive people who get asked out; it’s the ones who actively send signals by looking, connecting, and saying hello. Be open to initiating conversations and let your interest be known.
Say hello or offer genuine compliments to initiate conversations. Simple acts of kindness and appreciation create a warm and inviting atmosphere for meaningful interactions. The key is to start saying hello and being friendly to everyone, then you can relax about the really sexy person!
When saying hello, collect a few phrases that are easy to use like complimenting on what they are wearing or doing, noticing something they are interested in (like their football shirt) and mentioning something about it, or being really cheeky and upfront like “is there anyone in your life who would mind me flirting with you?”, “are you married?”, “there’s something about you I just had to say hello”, or asking questions like “do you know how to cook these vegetables?”
Remember that a significant portion of communication is nonverbal. Slow down, connect with your heart, and allow your body language to convey interest and openness.
Rediscovering flirting is like going on an adventure. It might require being vulnerable, taking some risks and prioritising pleasure and fun. Once you commit, that journey has begun.
So are you ready to say “Yes, I want love”?