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The NewlyWeds Podcast
NewlyWeds Podcast

Relationship Therapy on the NewlyWeds Podcast

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December 14, 2023
The Undateables
Channel 4

Cate is a guest coach on ‘The Undateables’

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June 1, 2020
Jeremy Vine Show
Channel 5

Cate teaches Jeremy Vine how to flirt

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February 1, 2020
kinkybritain
Channel 4

Cate gives advice on becoming a Psychosexual Therapist on Kinky Britain

See More »
April 17, 2019

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Dating can feel like everything is on the line. N Dating can feel like everything is on the line.

Not just “do I like them?”
but
“Will they choose me?”

And often, that pressure isn’t only about the date itself.

It’s older than that.

Parts of us can show up feeling unseen, unchosen, not quite enough…
hoping this new person will finally give us the validation we’ve been longing for.

That’s a lot for one interaction to carry.

So the deeper question becomes:

Can I stay connected to myself while dating?

Can I be present with my feelings without abandoning myself for approval?

Because when you stop asking someone else to decide your worth, something shifts.

There’s more ease.
More curiosity.
More choice.

What tends to come up for you when you’re dating?

#ConsciousDating #EmotionalAwareness #AttachmentTheory #SelfConnection #RelationshipHealing
Have you ever felt like you and someone else are j Have you ever felt like you and someone else are just missing each other completely?

Like no matter how much you try, it turns into confusion, distance, or frustration.

It’s exhausting. And it can make you want to give up.

But sometimes, what’s needed isn’t something big or complicated.

It’s a few more words.
A little more space.
A bit more willingness to really hear each other.

To let someone into your world.
And to be brave enough to step into theirs.

That’s often where things begin to shift.

If you’re feeling stuck in this kind of dynamic, you don’t have to figure it out alone.

Would you be open to trying something different?

💗
#relationshipgrowth #communication #couplesupport #emotionalintelligence #connection
Okay, so now you know what a “gasm” is… but how do Okay, so now you know what a “gasm” is…
but how do we actually experience it?

Here I am coaching @elizabethpmoynihan Liz in character on reconnecting to aliveness after being ghosted.

A gasm is not only sexual.

It’s any moment where you feel fully in the flow of life again.

An orgasm.
A friendshipgasm.
An artgasm.

Like walking through a gallery and suddenly standing in front of a Picasso that moves something in you.

That moment where you stop thinking for a second and simply feel.

Wonder.
Connection.
Presence.
Aliveness.

A laughtergasm.
A creativagasm.
A moment where your body softens and your nervous system remembers joy again.

Because healing after ghosting is not only about processing pain.

It’s also about reconnecting to experiences that bring you back to yourself.

Back to your body.
Back to pleasure.
Back to life.

And sometimes, that’s the moment you realise…

“I don’t care if she calls anymore.”

Not because you shut down.
But because you came home to yourself again.

What gives you that feeling of flow lately? 

#embodiment #relationshiphealing #emotionalwellbeing #selfworthinlove #secureattachment
#lovecoach #fallinginlove❤️ #relationships #fun #f #lovecoach #fallinginlove❤️ #relationships #fun #flirting
Ghosting is not about your worth. But how do you a Ghosting is not about your worth.
But how do you actually move through it?

It can feel deeply personal when you’re ghosted.
Like you’ve been dismissed, left, or quietly replaced.

And your mind starts trying to make sense of it.
What did I do? What did I miss? Why wasn’t I enough?

But often, ghosting isn’t a reflection of your worth.
It’s a reflection of someone’s capacity.

Here I am coaching Liz O’Connor a character @elizabethpmoynihan  is playing on being ghosted.

As we explore, when people disappear, it can come from not knowing how to hold difficult emotions.
Shame, guilt, discomfort, overwhelm.

And if it touches something deeper in you,
a fear of being left out, abandoned, or not chosen,
that’s the part that deserves your attention.

Not through overthinking, but GASM
through coming back to yourself.

Breathing.
Softening.
Allowing your body to release what it’s holding.

Letting the feeling move through instead of defining you.

And gently opening to a different possibility.

That this may not be about you.

That you can be you,
and let them be where they are,
without turning their behaviour into a story about your value.

And from there, if it feels right, you can come back with curiosity,
instead of self-blame.

What does being ghosted tend to bring up in you?
Confidence is not always missing. Sometimes it is Confidence is not always missing.

Sometimes it is just context specific.

You may be confident in your work.
On stage.
With friends.
In your creativity.
In the way you speak, lead, care, listen, or hold a room.

And then suddenly, when attraction is involved, something changes.

You feel shy.
Awkward.
Overexposed.
Unsure what to say.

It can feel confusing, because you know you have these skills somewhere.

But intimacy can touch different parts of us.

A date is not just a conversation.
It can awaken longing, fear, hope, self-consciousness, and the wish to be chosen.

So the work is not always to become more confident from scratch.

Sometimes it is to gently remember.

Where do I already know how to connect?
Where do I already take up space?
Where do I already bring warmth, humour, presence, curiosity?

And how can I bring a little of that part of me here too?

Not as a performance.
Not as a mask.

But as a way of coming back to yourself.

Because sometimes the confidence you are looking for is already there.

It just needs a safer bridge into this part of your life.

What part of you would you like to bring more fully into dating?

#ConsciousDating #DatingConfidence #EmotionalAwareness #SelfConnection #RelationshipHealing

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