Couples Counselling

Are you frustrated by the lack of sexual intimacy in your relationship or the sexual demands of your partner? Do you feel hopeless about your connection? Would you like better communication?

Couples who decide to come for therapy often create a much better relationship. They realise what areas they need to work on and can choose whether to do this or to separate. Either way this form of counselling can offer you options. I offer a place where people have the possibility of developing better communication skills where they can hear each other’s pain and to begin a process of forgiveness. This can then allow a partnership to grow which can provide a safe and supportive haven.

Being in a relationship is a very unique experience and can provide deep awareness and growth for each person. It can be really helpful to see a therapist to take you through a series of workshops to help you develop what you already have or clear up some of the baggage that may have built up. A big part of this is to see the communication and relationship patterns you have co-created that prevent you from connecting as you might wish to. You can have an opportunity to be supported to open up together and to have the possibility to build the kind of relationship you would like.

I work with

  • Sexual shame
  • People from different backgrounds
  • Low or high desire issues or
    lack of sex
  • Sexual dysfunction
  • Porn addiction
  • Difficulty communicating
  • Erectile Dysfunction
  • Vaginismus
  • Dyspareunia
  • Affairs
  • Impact of loss/illness/stress on the relationship
  • Deciding to marry
  • Deciding to have children

I support couples with

  • Becoming sexual again
  • Learning about sensuality
  • Dancing techniques
  • Creating a loving relationship
  • Communication tools
  • How to create an ending
  • Having a child and talking that through
  • Bridging communication skills
  • Marriage counselling

Bridging and Sex Therapy

When couples experience gridlock and they have stopped talking and/or having sex this can actually reveal how important they are to each other because they have been prepared to stay together even though it is difficult. This level of commitment can be a useful lever to support you to both go deeper into yourselves and the relationship and open up a whole new level of intimacy with each other. As a Psychosexual Therapist and Couples Counsellor I use a mixture of skills to help you get your relationship back to where you would like it to be.

I am trained in Transformative Couples Therapy with Sue Wintgens and Noa Rockman based on the pioneering work by Hedy Schleiffer. With this work I take couples on a series of two-hour (or more) workshops where I teach the couple how to open the relational space and be able to talk through difficulties or what kind of sexual relationship they would like. I combine this with my Psychosexual Therapy Training to bring an open spacious atmosphere. I am also trained in Emotionally Focussed Therapy for couples developed by Dr Sue Johnson which helps couples to create a loving attachment to each other. Then the couple can learn how to reconnect, come back to presence and really deeply hear each other. In the couple dance of distance/pursuer where it can seem like there is no winner this is a revolutionary approach. The idea is you have picked the perfect partner who can mirror your deepest difficulties and your greatest joy. Once you can begin hear each other again the energy in the space can begin to open and so can the connection, the sexuality and the love.

We work across at least 12 sessions where we cover different workshops from creating the vision of the relationship you both want, to visiting each other’s childhood and essences to both making amends for any harm done and cleaning up the emotional space.

I will help to give you a map of your relationship (through understanding each other with the bridges)  so that you have a deeper more embodied understanding of each other (so that it’s not just insight but a more profound wisdom). I will help you to show  gratitude and appreciation for each other  and help you to create the conditions for connection. If you know how to create the right conditions then you can always go to that deep place and sort out anything you need to sort out.

Because I am a sex therapist we also discuss sex and how that is and I can also teach touch (all clothed and safe) and dancing for each other and celebrating each other.

The idea is that you both create a new scaffolding and a new relational space and you have the understanding and experience of this so you can both begin to make the choice to live in this new space.

Me talking about how I work with couples
This is Hedy Schleiffer teaching bridging (and there are more videos on You Tube)
Paul Linden teaching embodiment (Another of my teachers who teaches embodiment and how that changes relationship)

We would book an initial session and then contract for 6-12 sessions while outlining a journey. This would involve meeting for 1-2 hours weekly or every two weeks. Or there can be options to meet for longer intensive sessions for 4-6 hours or two day journeys.

I teach couples how to have the relationship that they dearly want through a series of deep communication techniques, embodiment practices, and a lot of fun and creativity.

Prices: I charge £100/120 a session and in this time of Covid 19 I am happy to do different rates too of £80/90
Telephone 07974 341 545

I am a member of the Brighton and Hove Therapy Hub and you can see my profile here.